Wednesday, March 9, 2011

True Confessions

Once upon a time, there was a mommy who agreed to carve a jack-o-lantern for her childrens for Halloween.

Carving the pumpkin went pretty smoothly, even the part where she made the childrens scoop out the slimy seeds.

But then the mother realized that she didn't have any tea light size candles to put in the pumpkin's head and light up his face.

After searching around, she found a half-burned up pillar candle (blueberry scented). The only problem was, as many pillar candles do, this one had burned down inside itself so there were high walls of wax shielding the flame from the pumpkin's face, so no light could be seen.

So the mother decided to trim the walls off and expose the flame.

She did blow out the candle and pour off the hot melted bit.

She found a knife to trim with. *****Note: this candle was not made of that soft glowy see-through-ish kind of wax. It was a speckldy,hard, parafin-ish type of candle.

The mother began sawing on the candle. She did think, "hmm, I shouldn't cut towards myself with this knife." But the mother couldn't figure out a cutting angle that wasn't towards herself, so she just kept on and hoped for the best.

The tricksy knife slipped and stabbed the mother, right in the fleshy palm of her hand.

It was a very burning feeling. The mother took a quick peek at the wound. Luckily it wasn't very deep into her hand--just about an 1/8 inch under the surface, but about 1/2 inch wide and 1/2 inch long. She washed it, packed it with Triple Antibiotic Ointment and covered it with a band-aide.

The childrens had to be satisfied with a non-light up jack-o-lantern. But the mother made a delish-i-ous treat to distract them. So they forgot the whole thing.

The pillar candle was vengefully thrown in the trash.

The Mother was too embarassed to tell her husband about the stabbing, because she had been using a knife in a foolish manner.

So she never told him.

She didn't wash any dishes for about a week. Luckily, she had just washed them all recently, so the pile up didn't seem much out of place, and the husband made no comments.

After about a four days, the wound healed shut and not even a scar remained to mark the spot.

The mother cannot even remember for sure which hand was stabbed.

The mother does not let dishes pile up like that on a regular basis any more, so must be careful not to stab herself again, lest someone notice.

The childrens are older now and might tattle on her too.


  1. Oh my that was funny.

    You can always bribe the older ones with something so they don't tell on you. Or blackmail might work too.

  2. Maybe it never really happened. It was all just a dream....

  3. this makes me miss you. and your nutella on wheat bread. I think I need a little P&P and quilting!